I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize