i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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