Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
