I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
