am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
