i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
