Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
