I want to stick my p in your. b.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
