My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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