Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur" http://tfl.nu/dru1
  Replies (12) Good night (1793) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain" http://tfl.nu/88as
  Replies (2) Good night (1816) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Prob not but she was surprised

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate" (312): Prob not but she was surprised http://tfl.nu/a9jx
  Replies (2) Good night (1658) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f
  Replies (42) Good night (819) Bad night (5065)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex http://tfl.nu/02xp
  Replies (36) Good night (963) Bad night (4370)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out http://tfl.nu/ncls
  Replies (2) Good night (3653) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo
  Replies (19) Good night (12817) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young http://tfl.nu/hsw4
  Replies (7) Good night (2414) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now. http://tfl.nu/1qen
  Replies (9) Good night (2667) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all. http://tfl.nu/zbn9
  Replies (4) Good night (1997) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri
  Replies (10) Good night (5393) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?" http://tfl.nu/w3wv
  Replies (12) Good night (2586) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry http://tfl.nu/dsfb
  Replies (7) Good night (541) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil
  Replies (12) Good night (1221) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice. http://tfl.nu/3w4k
  Replies (5) Good night (292) Bad night (679)

Randomize