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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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• (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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• (212): View more from New York

  he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

  (917): View more from New York City

  You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?

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• (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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• (310): View more from California

  Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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• (805): View more from California

  I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready

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• (207): View more from Maine

  You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.

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