I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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