i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.