Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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