I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You need a sexual gate keeper
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
