I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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