im gay
i know
yea but for you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
