So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
