It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
