Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
