so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
