how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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