i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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