It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
