"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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