Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
