really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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