i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize