What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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