I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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