I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
