Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
