Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
