is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
