I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize