I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
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There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup