This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.