I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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