Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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  (408): Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job. http://tfl.nu/w1hi
  Replies (16) Good night (4072) Bad night (550)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.

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  (203): he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/z649
  Replies (27) Good night (6574) Bad night (692)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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  (609): I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me. http://tfl.nu/wd99
  Replies (43) Good night (914) Bad night (5278)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
  Replies (17) Good night (6701) Bad night (1941)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (5121)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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  (740): she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse http://tfl.nu/30t8
  Replies (14) Good night (4897) Bad night (1186)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

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  (985): Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man. http://tfl.nu/y0hn
  Replies (16) Good night (955) Bad night (5817)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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  (410): If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina http://tfl.nu/8dig
  Replies (28) Good night (1438) Bad night (2719)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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  (304): ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP http://tfl.nu/bbs8
  Replies (6) Good night (2193) Bad night (643)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me

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  (214): I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me http://tfl.nu/sx3p
  Replies (10) Good night (1572) Bad night (932)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I was drunk

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Please answer

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  (312): I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex (312): I was drunk (312): Please answer http://tfl.nu/4zur
  Replies (16) Good night (733) Bad night (2732)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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  (909): I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise.. http://tfl.nu/c4kh
  Replies (12) Good night (2324) Bad night (1147)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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  (301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv
  Replies (5) Good night (1028) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He tried to tip me with his police badge...

  (1-315): View more from New York

  and you didn't accept WHY?!

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  (315): He tried to tip me with his police badge... (1-315): and you didn't accept WHY?! http://tfl.nu/ie3g
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral

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  (773): i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral http://tfl.nu/9aoc
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (386)

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