Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  is your mom at the bar?

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  (586): is your mom at the bar? http://tfl.nu/5mmf
  Replies (4) Good night (3080) Bad night (1338)
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  (424): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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  (424): It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection. http://tfl.nu/sw7e
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (1214)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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  (208): all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem. http://tfl.nu/lmoj
  Replies (32) Good night (3462) Bad night (1464)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero

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  (325): Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero http://tfl.nu/zl6f
  Replies (58) Good night (6612) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1875) Bad night (5601)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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  (620): Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid http://tfl.nu/4wb3
  Replies (16) Good night (2534) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.

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  (904): I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative. http://tfl.nu/a3af
  Replies (7) Good night (1538) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.

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  (412): I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila. http://tfl.nu/4mhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1985) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.

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  (901): Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician. http://tfl.nu/nnrt
  Replies (7) Good night (2090) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

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  (61): Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair http://tfl.nu/j3o5
  Replies (7) Good night (617) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself

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  (518): i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself http://tfl.nu/xmm2
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?

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  (586): Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge? http://tfl.nu/4sxt
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here

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  (256): What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here http://tfl.nu/buva
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

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  (631): I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face http://tfl.nu/ohdn
  Replies (1) Good night (186) Bad night (238)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.

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  (203): At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list. http://tfl.nu/p5h5
  Replies (1) Good night (127) Bad night (15)

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