who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?