I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
