I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
