ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize