I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
