it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
