I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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