She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
