he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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