Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he fucked my hip out of place.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
