margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
should my penis look like a turkey
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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