I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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