I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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