I'm so fucking centered right now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
