He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
