and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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