LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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