**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
