Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
