Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
