My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize