remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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