and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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