naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
