i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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