You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
