Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
