So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
