I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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