I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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