Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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